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by hufflefluff111
Summary: Emotions and pain are too much for Dirk to bear after he comes back from Blackwing. Fortunately Todd is there to comfort him. Just a fluffy one-shot. Enjoy!


Dirk didn't feel like joining the others on the examination of the body in the tree they found the previous day. That felt strange, being a detective was all he ever wanted since he was a child. But at the moment he just wanted to lie down and sleep. He was exhausted and felt like crying. He was relieved and glad to be reunited with his friends but felt so tired at the same time, all the emotions, the fear and pain of the past two months overthrowing and overwhelming his thin figure.

He was sitting on the sofa in the room adjacent the one Todd, Farah, Tina and Hobbs were in. He wasn't ready to concentrate on a new case yet. He just didn't know how to cope with all of the emotions.

When he was in Blackwing he often thought about giving up, about letting everything go and surrender. But somehow the universe didn't agree with that kind of plans and he found himself always fighting to keep going through all the pain and the tortures. Besides the universe, he also had this piercing idea, like a spark of hope in the back corner of his mind, that maybe one of the reasons he had to resist was that he was important to someone. That he had finally found a person that actually cared about him. All he ever wanted was a friend. "Todd's my friend, he needs me." was his strength-giving thought.

But after a month in Blackwing, he wasn't sure about it anymore. They kept telling him that his friends abandoned him, that nobody was coming for him, that they were certainly happier now that he was gone, and that he deserved to be alone. Todd told him that too once, and it hurt more than every Blackwing torture. "You deserve to be alone, Dirk".

He felt like he was a little kid again, the first time they dragged him into that prison-like institute to experiment on him like a rat in a cage. He felt cold, alone and afraid.

He was playing nervously with the seam of the pillow he found next to him on the sofa. His eyes watered and he slid them tight shut, the tears burning as they threatened to spill out. He hated that feeling, not being able to control his emotions. His hands were shaking slightly and he clenched his fists on the soft fiber of the pillow, knuckles becoming white. He couldn't break down right then.

He was so focused on regaining control that he didn't even acknowledged the presence at his side 'till he felt an arm sliding gently around his shoulders. He lifted his head to find Todd's impossibly blue eyes glued worriedly on him as he sat close to his side.

"Dirk, what's the matter?"

Dirk frowned and then smiled at the shorter boy. It wasn't one of his usual big smiles that lighted up his whole face, but he tried his best to appear calm. He didn't want Todd to worry about him, he had so much to cope with himself, having now pararibulitis and not knowing where Amanda was. He felt so useless not knowing how to help him. He didn't want to be an extra burden for him.

"Nothing, I'm fine, really, I just felt a bit dizzy..."

"No, you're not fine." Todd interrupted him like he was expecting exactly that answer to start the conversation. "You keep smiling, but you're dying inside. That smile is your weapon. But I'm afraid it doesn't work on me anymore. I know you well enough by now, Dirk, I can tell when something is not right behind your smiling facade. I can read it in your eyes. There's no point in hiding whatever the problem is from me."

Dirk was now staring helplessly at his clenched fists, too afraid of breaking apart and crying if he kept looking at Todd in the eyes.

In response, Todd placed his warm hand on his cheeke and stroked it gently with his thumb, lifting his chin to regain the eyecontact.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. Hey, look at me, you know you can talk to me, right? I may be the biggest asshole on this planet, I may have ruined every good thing that I had in my shitty life, but you know what? I want to change. I want to be a better person. And I will start that by not failing you."

Dirk was now crying, he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He wanted to believe Todd's words so hard, but he was just too afraid.

"You're just saying it, you will leave like everyone else, nobody ever stays or care about me, I'll always be by myself. Why are you even still here? I'm just putting you in danger." Todd felt so heartbroken by hearing those words, nobody should ever feel that way, let alone the sweet, amazing and colorful Dirk. His Dirk. He swore to himself he was gonna protect that boy with his life, no matter the cost. He wiped a tear away from Dirk's cheek with his thumb and took his face in both of his hands.

"Dirk no, I'm still here and I won't go anywhere without you. Do you think I'm just going to get up and leave, after all we've been through? The old coward and lazy me would have done it the second day of shootings and crazy stuff, but I stayed. And you know what made me stay? You. I'm still here only because of you. You managed to make me a better person." Dirk was now fully crying.

"Come here." Todd wrapped his arms tight around him, Dirk's head in the crook of his neck.

"Really? They say you didn't care." He blurted out through sobs.

"They? Blackwing? Dirk, they were just messing with you, I never thought for one second about abandoning you in there. Finding you was my main priority when me and Farah were on the run. I'm meaning it when I say you're impossibly important to me and I will never let Blackwing or anyone else put a finger on you or hurt you in any way ever again." Dirk held on tight on Todd's shirt as he rubbed his back in circles trying to calm him down. "Shh, you're safe now." All that Dirk managed to say through the sobs was a soft: "Stay, please."

"I'm really not going anywhere, you idiot." Dirk snuggled closer to him, and Todd realised that they both longed for that gentle contact. He placed a hand on Dirk's head hesitantly, slowly running his fingers in his soft hair, moving it away from the boy's tear streamed face.

Dirk breathe started to slow down as they both lingered on that sweet touch. Time seemed to stop, Todd continuing to soothe Dirk sweetly. "Todd?" Called Dirk after a while, his voice muffled in the other boy's shirt. "Yeah?" "Don't ever call yourself an asshole again, please." Todd chuckled and rested his cheek upon Dirk's head, squeezing him slightly in his arms.

Five minutes later, Dirk was dozing off, feeling more peaceful and safe than he had been in a very long time. He didn't even realize muttering a soft "I love you" while snuggling sleepily in the shorter boy's embrace. But Todd heard him, and kissed him gently on the head.

Right there and then, Dirk and Todd found where they belonged.

In each other's arms, they felt home.


End file.
